Tag Archives: science

Professor Itty’s Last Lecture

 

Professor Dagmar Itty mopped his brow

And squinted at his notes – a cryptic scrawl.

He cleared his throat and in a nervous voice

Addressed the overflowing lecture hall.

 

‘This morning’s talk should really be about

Cycloidal drives and epicyclic gears,

But since I’ll be retiring Friday week

I thought I’d stray off topic.’ (Raucous cheers)

 

‘I’ve been a fellow here since eighty-nine.

The day that I arrived I made a vow

To spend my leisure time indulging in

A project I’ve kept secret – until now.’

 

The students all leant forward in their seats.

Professor Itty’s hobby was the buzz,

A subject of debate; a hundred bets

Were placed this week alone on what it was.

 

‘So let me share with you,’ proclaimed the Prof,

‘This formula I’ve found; it’s very neat,

Although you’d be advised to stand well back,

Because it does produce a bit of heat.’

 

I tried to follow everything he did

But it was so involved I soon lost track.

I looked around at everybody else;

Like me, their eyes were glazed, their jaws were slack.

 

Then suddenly a blinding flash of light,

A sonic boom, a muffled cry of ‘Duck!’

And when I stood back up the sight I saw

Punched out my breath and left me thunderstruck.

 

A hundred thousand glowing points of light

Hung silently about us in the hall

Each one a slightly different shape and size –

Some spiral, some elliptical, but all

 

Rotated slowly as they moved apart.

‘Each one’s a galaxy,’ explained the Prof.

‘I’ve just designed a whole new universe,

And now I need some serious time off.’

 

© Helen Lewis 2010


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